Photo-Illustration: Vulture; Photos: Getty
Did you know that Marcia Gay Harden once invested in two frozen yogurt shops? It’s true. Celebrities often make a lot of money, which they like to invest, and last decade that’s how she invested some of hers. Now, in 2022, celebrities have begun putting their money into non-fungible tokens. You know them as NFTs. You don’t really need to understand what an NFT is (no one does) — much like love, you cannot hold it in your hands, but it most certainly exists. Just know that NFTs have value, which can go up or down. If more people know about NFTs and want to buy them, that could cause their value to rise. That’s why famous people are talking about them so much: They need you to know how to purchase an NFT (you typically need to buy them using ethereum, a cryptocurrency — it’s pretty straightforward, you get it) so that you yourself can invest in a few and then, critically, tell other people that you own them.
All of this begs the question: which NFTs should you invest in? That’s where the celebrities want to help. Don’t run — they are your friends! They will tell you that the hottest NFTs right now are made by the Bored Ape Yacht Club. If you invest in these, you’ll get access to an exclusive club with perks. There are warehouse parties in Brooklyn, and if you own at least one ape, you can go into the digital bathroom and draw one pixel on a digital toilet as if you were in a dive bar with a teeny-tiny Sharpie. This privilege refreshes every 15 minutes, so if you’re patient, you can slowly draw a dick. BAYC isn’t just a collection of NFTs — it’s a lifestyle. It’s so Samantha wanting to use the pool facilities at the Soho House during a hot NYC summer. Jimmy Fallon asking Paris Hilton about NFTs on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon is Samantha running into Geri Halliwell on the street in a bikini, the latter saying she’s on her way to the Soho House pool. Annabelle Bronstein’s membership card is the NFT. The British pool attendant who quickly kicks Samantha out because she isn’t Annabelle Bronstein is the blockchain. If none of this makes sense to you, it’s actually not that complicated; you just need the right person to explain it to you, and it turns out that’s Dr. Phil.
The celebrities also want you to know that if you don’t do as they say, you will lose. Matt Damon’s Crypto.com ad implies that if you do not act now, there will be no room for you on the spaceship to Mars. It’s fun because he seems a little mad at you. Gwyneth Paltrow wants you to join so badly she’s giving out free money. That’s a good thing. As Reese Witherspoon once said, “Crypto is here to stay.” Our financial decisions are always dictated by the stars, so here’s who is getting into NFTs (or being paid to act like they are) and whether or not you should listen to their investment advice.
An early pioneer as far as celebrities are concerned. She released the song “Lullaby” as an NFT in March 2021. Next, she collaborated with Canine Cartel on a rendering of her fursona (furry persona), which swiftly led to the furry community trying to cancel her. She once devoted an entire interview to sharing the steps to getting “filthy rich” with NFTs. The first one is “Choose your NFT.”
Should you listen to Lohan? Yes, she’s an entrepreneur.
Bought into the Mutant Ape Yacht Club, which is like the L.A. Soho House. He also launched his own NFTs that all lead back to his Shaq Gives Back Foundation.
Should you listen to O’Neal? He is a franchise owner of 17 Auntie Anne’s pretzel shops, so yes.
In March 2021, she released a series of her own NFTs, made up of mostly short videos set to music by Grimes. By December 2021, one of them had dropped in value by 84 percent.
Should you listen to Grimes? An 84 percent drop is a lot, but the game is always changing.
She began tweeting about cryptocurrency to her 2.7 million followers back in June 2021. She then entered into a partnership with Cash App and posted a hostagelike photo of herself sending out free bitcoin to users who tweeted at her with the correct hashtag. This campaign, which at first glance seems to have been led by a marketing team in an alcohol-induced blackout, had the stated intentions of making crypto less “exclusionary.” Recently, Paltrow announced her purchase of a BAYC NFT. It’s actually gorgeous.
Should you listen to Paltrow? Remember when her candle exploded that one time?
If you know anything about Witherspoon, it’s that she is a perfectionist. This explains why she continually threatens and coaches her 2.9 million followers into setting up wallets. She’s not going to lose money. She believes women will be left behind if they don’t start getting involved now and famously asked all of us “Are you planning for this?” when referring to a future in which digital goods and currencies are the norm. She once attended a Twitter Space hosted by BAYC and Adidas. Her NFT collection includes one from World of Women, which calls itself “a community celebrating representation, inclusivity, and equal opportunities for all” that is “united by a first-of-its-kind collection, featuring 10,000 artworks of diverse and powerful women.”
Should you listen to Witherspoon? We are pro-women.
Recently purchased a BAYC NFT for 300 percent more than its estimated presale value. You might initially be turned on by the fact that it seems like he’s bad with money, but not so fast. He also has his own line of NFTs, a project he is working on with InBetweeners, a group that calls itself “a global community focused on spreading love and positivity.” After his purchase of the hot, hot, hot BAYC ape No. 3001, his own NFTs went up in value.
Should you listen to Bieber? Still holding out hope that he’s bad with money.
Recently purchased BAYC No. 9258 for around $200,000. No. 9258 features a fun spinner hat befitting a comedian. He didn’t even tweet about it — just retweeted an announcement saying he bought one. He’s busy working with Fabletics.
Should you listen to Hart? We had a bad experience with our Fabletics order during the first lockdown, but maybe?
Is so into NFTs he tweeted to his 34.7 million followers that they should follow a separate account he started to talk exclusively about them. On that account, he announces drops of NFTs he is “involved” with and tells people they should check out different Spaces where they are also talking about NFTs.
Should you listen to Payne? That separate account says a lot.
Has been a frequent guest on CNBC’s Closing Bell to discuss NFTs and her “love of being an innovator.” Her first NFT, from March 2020, won Best Charity NFT at the NFT Awards. She loves crypto and says it’s definitely the future. She owns Bored Ape No. 1294.
Should you listen to Hilton? She’s selling hard and seems committed.
Is on the board of Sorare, which is like if the pool Samantha Jones wanted to use was a fantasy-soccer league. Williams was recently gifted BAYC NFT No. 5797 by her husband, Alexis Ohanian. This one is pretty rare because it’s pink and has sad eyes. Ohanian has gone on record that he is only gifting her NFTs from now on.
Should you listen to Williams? She’s on a board!
Not an NFT adopter but a warning to all celebrities who choose not to get involved in crypto. In 2014, she turned down an offer to do a Second Life concert in exchange for 200,000 bitcoin. Had she accepted, she would be a billionaire (and we would not be getting the upcoming LA5 album).
Should you listen to Allen? Considering that she missed out on a multi-billion-dollar windfall, yes, via a copy of LA5 that you’ll purchase.
Celebrities Love NFTs, Soon You Will Too
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